While I don't mind talking about the specifics of transition matters with others in person, I won't online.
Aside from the obvious factors, I also find that too many other trans people have very strongly-held and hyper-specific beliefs related to how one ought to transition, should they choose to do so physically.
I mean, I get where this comes from: on the whole, we don't get very good treatment from a system whose foundational knowledge was designed in such a way as to greatly limit the on-ramps while increasing the number of off-ramps while at the same time limiting serious research so that a general sense of know-nothing pervades.
Some of this is a byproduct of being a rather small community overall. Some of it is the result of a poisoned epistemic well. Nearly all of it comes from being socially-reviled.
Especially in this context, community knowledge, experience, and practice are critical to seeking out, advocating for, and securing the treatments we require.
On the other hand, there is very much an element of "you're doing it wrong" that seems to be somewhat pervasive among many in the community, regardless of whether or not one's levels are sufficient or they are satisfied with their own progress.
The statements can be passive, aggressive, patronizing, and more. It's usually a bit of an irritant where HRT is concerned, but the real pit of despair seems to be online conversations about surgeries.
Where discussions about surgery are concerned, it seems that every 18 months we get a new surgeon or clinic that does the best-ever work that will give you the cisgender edge for all your stealth dreams, and every other one is a butcher that will leave you mangled and broken, including yesterday's best-ever.
I get where this all comes from, but my gosh can it ever be exhausting in trans spaces.
January 24, 2025