Healing has been going very well! It has now been just over one month since surgery and staff at the clinic were quit pleased with my progress, urging me to keep up the good work.
This has also pleased me, though I'm still finding it a little bit of a challenge reconciling "her healing is coming along well" with "she's not finished healing" (and still swells, isn't yet reliably fused in a certain hard-to-heal spot, still feels it when she lifts too much or laughs too hard...)
After a fairly nice run of increasing my walking distance and general stamina, my body found ways to let me know that I had been at risk of exceeding my limits. I've had to rein myself in a little and after two nights of sleeping on my back, I also had to admit that my pesky bed sore isn't 100% healed yet.
On the other hand, I am more energetic and still contributing much more to the household. I think we're maybe up to a 65:35 or 60:40 split? I haven't been able to resume the ironing or vacuuming quite yet, but have been fetching groceries, running nearer errands, cooking, and doing the dishes.
Lingering Food Feelings
I'm still confident that this latest bout with disordered eating is behind me, but wise enough to have internalized that it will never really leave.
In some ways, that not all of the negative thoughts have gone has helped to bake this realization in. I had some profoundly silly fears about the amount of toum I had added to my falafel sandwich at lunch and was tempted to throw out most of the sandwich.
It's all very silly for several reasons, but there was the shrill voice all the same, seemingly resistant to the good reasons an extra bit of the calorific and delicious sauce wasn't a problem.
I haven't weighed myself since immediately before surgery, but I do know that I've gained a little. Not enough though. I recently saw a photo of myself from last summer (a Vivian Maier-style mirror self-portrait) and couldn't help but notice all of the ways in which my eating has been disadvantageous to my transition.
July 19, 2026